The Shieldmaiden
by Zanza8
Summary: A tale of Rollo and Lagertha in an alternate universe where Siggy died and Rollo never rebelled against Ragnar.
1. Chapter 1

As the longboat drew near the dock of Kattegat, Rollo frowned, then bent over his sleeping brother and shook him. Ragnar came awake with a start. "What is it?"

Rollo shook his head. "I do not know, brother, but I feel something is wrong. Look." He pointed to the small town and Ragnar came to his feet. The dock and beach were usually crowded whenever a boat came in and now both were deserted. It was with a feeling of profound uneasiness that the men tied up the vessel and started through the empty street for the great hall, past houses with closed doors and shuttered windows. They found Lagertha sitting alone at the back of the big room, and it was a long moment before she slowly made her way to them, gazing at them silently.

"Lagertha, what has happened?" Ragnar's voice was rough with fear but she didn't seem to notice and he put a hand on her shoulder. At his touch, she blinked as if she were waking up and her eyes filled with tears.

"There was sickness." Floki moved and she managed a smile for him. "Helga is well." She would have said more, but he was already on his way out, Torstein and One-Eye with him, leaving Ragnar with his wife and son and brother. Lagertha took Ragnar's hand and held it tightly. "Husband, I must tell you that Gyda..." She couldn't finish but Ragnar read the truth in her face. His hand tightened convulsively on hers and he reached for Bjorn as if to reassure himself that his son was still there.

Rollo gripped his shoulder. "You have my sympathy, brother. If there is anything Siggy or I can do, you have only to name it." Lagertha bit her lip and the big man felt a chill. "Where is Siggy?"

The shieldmaiden took a deep breath. "Siggy was the first one to fall ill. Thyri and I cared for her, and then Thyri also took sick." Rollo was staring at her, his face white, and she had to force the words past a lump in her throat. "We burned all the dead the same day they died. It was the only way to contain the sickness."

Rollo's jaw tightened for a moment, then he said quietly, "Thank you for taking care of them." He gave Ragnar's shoulder a shake, tousled Bjorn's hair, nodded to Lagertha, and then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Lagertha asked about the embassy to Jarl Borg, and Ragnar told her all that had happened, suppressing only his encounter with Princess Aslaug. Bjorn might have said something about the woman, but he was almost never home. The shieldmaiden was aware of the tension between the boy and his father, but assumed it was due to their grief over Gyda. She didn't think of Rollo at all until Bjorn came to her on the afternoon of the third day. "I want you to come with me to my uncle's house. I think something is wrong with him."

Lagertha sighed. "What makes you think that?"

"I have gone several times to see him." Bjorn paced back and forth. "No matter what time I go, he is asleep in bed."

His mother shrugged. "He is probably drunk, Bjorn. You should not worry about it."

"I do not think so." Bjorn stopped in front of his mother, his expression an odd mixture of appeal and determination. "He has not touched his food stores, he has casks of ale and mead that have not been broached, he has not been seen in town." He put a hand on his mother's arm. "Even his water pitcher is as it was the first time I went."

For the first time Lagertha felt concerned. "Very well. I will go with you to see your uncle, but I warn you, if he is drunk, I will never concern myself with him again."

They walked over to the little house Rollo had shared with Siggy, and Lagertha was about to knock when Bjorn pushed the door open and went straight through to the bedroom. His mother followed, looking around and noting that the main room was in perfect order, as if it hadn't been touched since Siggy left it for the last time. Bjorn stood by the bed, shaking Rollo and getting no response.

Lagertha bent over her brother-in-law, openly smelling his breath. There was no smell of alcohol and Bjorn gave her an exasperated look. "I told you he wasn't drunk."

She felt Rollo's face. "Get me water and some clean rags."

"What is wrong with him?"

"He has a fever."

The boy looked at his uncle with fear. "Is it like the sickness that killed my sister?"

The shieldmaiden shook her head. "I think he is just sick with grief. Siggy and Thyri were his family and he has lain here sorrowing for them until he has come to this pass."

Bjorn took Rollo's hand. "Is he going to die?"

"No, of course not." Lagertha strove to sound matter-of-fact. "Now get me that water and those rags and then go home and tell your father what has happened." The boy hesitated and his mother bent down to look him directly in the eye. "Rollo will be all right. He just needs some care and I promise you, I will stay with him until he is better." The boy's smile warmed her heart and she watched as he brought in a bucket of water and some rags. He lingered by the bed for a moment, looking down at his uncle, then he left without another word.

Left alone, Lagertha pulled up a stool to the bed and wrung out a rag, laying it on Rollo's forehead. He stirred and mumbled something and the shieldmaiden shook her head. "How like you, Rollo. You couldn't cry for half a day like Ragnar and get on with your life. You always have to make the grand gesture." She took another rag and trickled some water into his mouth and he swallowed it, then opened his eyes. He gazed at her without recognition, then his eyes closed and he slipped back into a fitful doze.


	3. Chapter 3

"Siggy!"

Lagertha jumped-she must have fallen asleep, and she suffered a moment's disorientation at finding herself in a strange room, then she remembered where she was and leaned over Rollo. He was tossing back and forth, calling for Siggy, and she wrung out another rag and wiped his face. He was burning up and she was debating whether to go for more water when he caught her hand.

"Siggy…" Rollo's eyes were unfocused and his voice weak but he was smiling. "Don't laugh...I had the worst dream. I thought I came back to Kattegat and you were dead." His hard brown hand, so huge that it completely engulfed Lagertha's, tightened for a moment and then fell back on the bed. "I thought I would never see you again and here you are. I dreamed Thyri was dead too...we must find her a husband, she must be provided for."

"Rollo, you don't know what you're saying."

"No, you're right. Thyri must marry when and whom she pleases...she is your daughter, you know what is best for her…" Rollo fell silent, then murmured, "I'm sorry, Siggy...I never told you how much I love you. And I never married you. I only waited because I wanted you to be the wife of an earl again...will you marry me anyway, Siggy?"

Lagertha said gently, "I'll marry you, Rollo, but you must get well first."

He sighed and relaxed and she thought he had fallen asleep, then he spoke again, his voice very faint. "Lagertha." She leaned over to hear him better and he repeated her name, then whispered, "I am glad you are her friend, Siggy. If anything happens to me, you will be safe with her."

Lagertha felt unnerved . She had never liked Rollo, never trusted him, never understood her husband's affection for his wayward brother. For years he had pursued her behind Ragnar's back, making lewd comments, following her with his eyes, and he had long had a reputation in the town as being a man that no woman was safe with. She would never have believed he could care for anyone as much as himself and now he lay here, suffering such grief that he might have died of it. It was disconcerting, and Lagertha did not want to believe that she could have been wrong about Rollo.

The night wore on and in the dark hour before the dawn the door in the other room opened and Ragnar came in. "Lagertha?"

She hurried to her husband, her finger on her lips. "Don't wake Rollo."

Ragnar pulled her into a swift strong hug, then walked softly into the bedroom. Rollo had turned on his side and did not move when Lagertha came in and felt his face. His skin was cooler and she smiled and gestured to Ragnar. They went into the other room and Lagertha whispered, "His fever has broken. I think he will be all right now."

"I would have been here sooner but I was hunting in the forest and Bjorn only found me a short time ago. What is wrong with my brother? Bjorn said that he was very sick and you were taking care of him."

Lagertha sighed. "He fell sick with grief for Siggy. I did not know he loved her so much."

Ragnar said sadly, "When Rollo lived here alone he took no care for this house. He always said that he had no need of a real home. The day I became earl, he brought Siggy and Thyri here." He smiled wryly. "He complained about how they cleaned and made him fix things, but I knew that he had finally found some peace and happiness…" He went back to the door of the bedroom. "What will happen to him now?"

"I don't know, Ragnar." Lagertha joined her husband and they stood side by side contemplating Rollo. "He still has family-he has you, and Bjorn. He has not lost everything. He needs to remember that."

The young man regarded his wife with curiosity. "I never heard you speak so kindly of my brother before."

She moved away uncomfortably. "Perhaps I never thought of him as anything but a trouble before. I would like to go home but Rollo should not be left alone."

"I will stay with him." Ragnar touched her face. "Thank you."

Lagertha pressed her husband's hand and left the little house to walk home in the gathering light of a new day. Bjorn was in the great room, staring into the fire, and he jumped up as she came in. "How is my uncle?"

"He is much better. I think he will be all right if he is reminded he still has family. It's hard to lose someone you love as much as he loved Siggy." The boy scowled and Lagertha was again conscious of that undercurrent of anger running through him. "What is it, Bjorn? I know you are worried about Rollo but I think something else is upsetting you as well."

Bjorn looked at his feet. "My uncle…"

"What about him?"

"While my father and I went to see the great ash tree, Rollo had to stay with Jarl Borg. I heard about it from the servants, how Borg offered him women."

Lagertha thought she saw what was wrong now. "If Rollo was with other women, that doesn't mean he loved Siggy less."

"You don't understand!" Bjorn blurted. "Borg offered my uncle women and he turned them down. He was faithful to Siggy, but my father…"

The shieldmaiden felt a jar go through her, like a blow before the pain is felt. "What of Ragnar?"

"While Siggy and my sister lay dying, he was making a fool of himself with a woman!" Now that the words were out, Bjorn told his mother the whole story of Princess Aslaug and Ragnar and she stood there in shock, listening to every detail until the boy stopped talking of his own accord.

"Thank you for telling me, Bjorn," she said calmly. "You may go now."

He glared at her, then turned on his heel and left. Her mind was in a whirl and stray thoughts chased one another. She remembered Ragnar's trial, when Haraldson would have killed him but for Rollo's perjury, and how the big warrior had told her it was for her that he lied. She had not wanted to believe him-she couldn't accept that he cared for her so much, and the raid on the farm and Ragnar's injuries made it easy for her to forget the risk he had taken. She thought of how she had asked Ragnar to leave Kattegat and how he refused, challenging Haraldson to mortal combat when he learned of Rollo's capture and torture at the earl's hands. She had hated Rollo that day-even the livid cuts on his face didn't soften her heart towards him. She saw only that her husband might die to avenge his brother and she wished Rollo had never been born. Lagertha had thought nothing could be worse than the moment she found Gyda dead, and now she knew that as their daughter lay dying, her husband was with another woman-a woman whom he had kept a secret from her. Strangely it was the lie, for an omission can be a lie, that hurt more than the actual act of sex with this Aslaug. Rollo, whom she had not believed capable of love, had stayed faithful to Siggy and come home to find his life laid waste; and Ragnar, whom she would have trusted with her life, had lain with another woman while Gyda was dying and held that encounter a secret from her even as he comforted her for their daughter's loss.

Lagertha pressed her hands over her eyes to hold back the tears. It was a long moment before she straightened up, but her head was high as she decided to settle things with Ragnar. They had too many good years together for her to get so upset over him spending one night with another woman, a woman, moreover, that he would never see again. As for Rollo...no, she wasn't going to think about him. It hurt too much to think of his faithful love for Siggy contrasted with Ragnar's infidelity, but she would be kinder to him in the future, and hope for better days for all of them as she and Ragnar built their life again.


End file.
